A Definitive Change

"At the stroke of Midnight, when the world Sleeps, India...Will awake to Life & Freedom." The words are really touching. The generation then, left a country Free, one with a Legacy, and with a History.

I do not remember much about the dates and occurrences in History after or before this except a few main ones, many of you might curse or give me names for that, but what the heck ? I was a 12 year kid or a little more when my Country wanted me to remember these dates as a part of my School course, which I did then memorize just to make it through the examinations. I don't know how normal or abnormal it was then to be so Ignorant about any history at such an age.But my main interest back then was Sports, cartoons, friends and my moms hand made food.

So then back in Primary school, every Independence Day was a day I would wake up early for school assembly, Sing our National Anthem, and watch our Physical Trainer Shout "Saaawdhaan" (Attention), "Wishraam" (Stand at ease) which of course we all would follow, for if only we decided not to, would mean a thick cane marking a signature on your butt.

Watched the Tri-color unfurl and then ? the best part, Sweets and Snacks and off we go, half day !

Times changed, I became older, came the Secondary school, still hated waking up to get to the morning assembly, polish my white shoes, National anthem, Flag unfurls, get home, watch the Tv for channels all going Tri colored, the Prime minister Addressing the Nation, and no it wasn't out of my Interest, Parents would be watching that like a kid hooked on Tom & jerry.

A couple of Earthquakes, Wars, Crimes & Results later, I was a graduate, got my first Job, 15th August, and it was a public holiday, yet we would be sad, cause it meant a Dry day. No drinks, no Pub, and like any other busy workaholic Indian would have forgotten to stock some Liquor.

Oh and yes how could I forget the millions of messages I must have Sms'ed to my friends my colleagues, those creative messages with sparkling Indian Tri color, the ones with Hindi scripts, creative e greetings. Posting videos of "Maa Tujhe salaam".

That was it "My Country's Independence day", back to Today, this time, the very moment you my friend are breathing, when am a little more saner, I sit back and ask myself, What this day means to me, an Indian national, I have seen some days now outside my country, met people of different origins, I have had n number of conversations with friends discussing corruption, the dam corrupt gutters filled with leaks of my country's politicians, cried losing friends in bomb blasts, cried within, seeing destruction, dis respect for elders.

To you by now am such an Anti-Indian fellow, no ? But my blood still boils when my country is attacked by uncivilized animals with mindless intentions, when innocent blood is shed, I don't care of what the past has been, all controversies surrounding our great politicians, I don't care if Nehru was selfish, I don't care if Gandhi did the right things.

What I do realize today, standing here, is that, what I chose to do next is what will and can make a difference. It is me who can do something if nothing, for my country, in any way possible, all I need to do is promise myself to help make my country become a better place, it can be as small as starting to throw garbage in a place where it belongs, starting from as little as that to something thats beyond my imagination. The choice is totally ours, and no amount of Video posts and e greetings is going to help us all get there. Don't get me wrong, am no sadist, go ahead and celebrate, but am gonna promise to do it with an intention...with some promise...with some respect.

I've made my self a promise, to give a meaning to this definition, a definition which has changed over a period of time with me, from Sweets to Dry days, to being a Solemn Promise to myself. I hope am able to prove myself with a Definitive Change.

Life, Monkey Business & everything in between.

Blue lights in my face, warm guitar strings ringing in my ears, thumping beats of the drums and the boong of the bass, a sea of people swinging to the fusion, when suddenly I hear a distinct sound, sound Ive heard before, that am familiar with, and am saying to myself, where !? in freaking hell is this techno crap disturbing my metal melody, and its getting louder, rays of blue light soon turn white, the guitars soon go mute, and the freaking techno sound is the loudest thing I can hear now, Bloody hell, Good freaking Morning Nik ! I crawl to the other side of my bed, shut the freaking alarm on my cell phone.

Realize the damn thing has gone off since the last half n hour, which means I am so damn late today baby ! I spring up, start multi tasking, err you don't wanna know how and what, so lets skip this one :P

So am late as usual, but lets just say am on time :D, rushing through the beautiful morning crowd of Tokyo, yeah am not kidding, if there is one thing that is strong enough (stronger than my morning espresso) to wake me up, it's the Tokyo beauties, nothing like seeing a sea of beautiful all decked up women early in the morning, yeah I hear you say, "Damn !!! Good Morning !" .

So any ways (yeah yeah, stop envying me you guys) I get into office elevator, 13th floor

- Ju-san Kai (yeah I wanna tell you am learning Japanese, and I like showing off on that :P ) is where I sit.

I Get my blazer off and rest it, sharp 9:10 Am my butt hits the chair, open my mails, and I see a reminder, 9:00 AM meeting 10 minutes over due..... trouble, see my Manager in the meeting invites, now its a night mare.

Without wasting a second, I get my tired butt up, (and i hear it say "but we just started resting !") and head to the 6th Floor.

Rush to find the room 6A, now I really wanna describe this feeling well, how many of us have been to meetings so late... ? errr ok... yeah...yeah... mine's too bad, but am sure a few at least, It's like attempting to burst your first ever big sound fire cracker, should I or should I not is the question, but you know you have to (sheer peer pressure those days ), so you stay as far, but just close enough by stretching yourself to touch & light the wick... that's how I would describe me opening the meeting room door.

"Creeek inkyooooo burrr", that's what the door shouted out in its so far uninterpreted language, the damn door just had to alarm all in the room, as if screaming out to all, hey everybody ! look ! here comes Mr Perfect timing ! bwahahahahaha....

All eyes flash high lights on me, one time when you really want to believe you are the star of the show, but then your dawned by realization, that its for all the wrong reasons !

My manager is all smiles, rather a big Wide Grin, as if to say "you are so screwed now !". I sit next to him he shares this huge A3 Sheet with font size ... 8, errr wait, 7 mmm no I guess it was 6. Cause i can read 7 with ease, and this was way to blurry for me, half of it had Kata kana & Kanji.

Trust me the sheet had some sorta big table drawn on it with n cloumns and n rows, but as stupid as it may sound it looked like some one had made a big chess board with all the coloring gone wrong, yeah ... thats what it looked like to me.

This was a big meeting, and had big people on it, talk about a first impression, I kept my face down as much as possible, so that i don't show my self too much (i felt like the Ostrich who digs his face in conveniently to think no one can see him !) .

What happens next ? even better, they are all talking Finance big talk, am a small guy, know my technology well, and am now struggling but slowly learning the business, cause after all, it's what matters. So here am listening to random words like "realized P & L", "unrealized P & L", positions, greeks, delta's, as much as I knew all about this now, a few months back this is how I was interpreting all these words I just mentioned.

Realized p & L - I definitely have to realize my ultimate goal in life.

Unrealized p & L - I m yet to realize what am I doing here.

Positions - Am definitely in no position to understand financial mumbo jumbo.

Greeks - I love Greek mythology and Greek chicks ! :D

deltas - this is the squad I pick up before playing my favorite warfare game on Xbox :P

Now as guilty as I am about understanding every damn thing that is being said around me, I start to really get frustrated, some what like a monkey who doesn't get attention. I start scratching my head, hold my face between my hands, rest my head on one fist, all typical Monkey positions.

One new guy on the Team asks my business counterpart, do we post realized p & L to the ledger from the front office ? or do we post both realized and un realized, Mr Fox as I'd like to describe him replies with a cool attitude, we always report the realized p & l from the Ledger, which was not the exact answer which our new friend was looking for, but took it and sat down, because of the sheer attitude with which the answer was delivered to him ("what ! ? you don't even know this !?!, what the hell are you doing here, who hired you ?").

Soon before the meeting ended and the work for me started, the chair person of the meeting said about a system called "Rex" looking into the chess board, errr I mean the sheet, and me and Mr Fox start looking into the sheet, searching for the word "Rex", everyone else seems to have found it and reading very carefully, Mr Fox whispers in to my ears, "are you able to find it ?" I said, errrm, am still looking (with a please don't kill me for this look on my face), to my surprise he too hasn't, so we mutually decide to stop the rambling chair person to ask, "Could you help us with the details on Rex on this sheet ?"

And the chair person says "oh am so sorry, I have a different version with me, that wont be on the handouts Ive given". "Whoaaaa, OMFG ! bwahahahahaha" is what i was doing in my head, trying real hard not to let my laugh out, Mr Fox cracks a humorous one saying, "And I thought only the T-REX was extinct". That gave me a chance to laugh out hard !!! I guess every one else was just either sleeping or being a monkey following another one :)

So you see now, the point is, you me are just monkeys in this mud pile the world calls business, what was turning out to be a night mare, made me realize, every one else is just as bad or good as you are, but they all chose to be monkeys following another one, but I chose not to ;)

So I ended my day listening to the song by The FooFighters - "Don't wanna be your Monkey Wrench !" Are you ?

Eye 2 Eye - Try the eyePhone !

It's been about 8 months or so, and Ive been Hooked on to photography like a teenager on drugs, Ive been off it for may be a month now, and as hard it may seem to believe I stopped it as soon as I bought my dream canon D-SLR, "why ?" you say , am clue less, just like one of those things you keep wanting to have and crave for, but once you own or possess it you don't seem to want it just as much you did before ! although for me, am still getting used to carrying it around, and I feel like an armed Green Beret looking to shoot some one down with it :P

But all this while when I was not seriously snapping up points in time, instinctively I would take small snaps and clicks, and capture things which literally caught my eye, simplest of things as they seem, I some how had a different perception of them.

I really love the point and shooters cause they are just so handy, its literally all about Pointing and snap ! in this case though it was the worst ever possible Point and shoot I took the pics with.

Hold your breath, a One Mega Pixel, Samsung Phone ! LOL ! yeah and you thought the iPhone was the worst... but some how of all the photography Ive done, I for all enjoyed these the most, I for one have learnt the truth about composition in a picture, the composition of a frame, picture is what makes up 70 % of the ingredient to a marvelous "wow !" pic, the rest can concentrate on details and clarity of it.

So am here in an attempt to burst your bubble of "Oh I need a D-SLR to make a good Pic !" and I hope am able to convince you with it, so here's a link to the pictures I made with my...errr what should I call this one, ah ! of course the eyePhone ! :)

http://picasaweb.google.com/bhusariniket/MobileShots02#

Entangled & wound up

I don't know if you ever cared to notice, but I have..., every time I've taken my headphones out of my pocket, they have always managed to get entangled, never has there been an instance, where I would have them all unwound and undone ready to be plugged in.

Off late the things that I have been going through, some how I relate to these as some situations you can just never really help or avoid, unless you take care to make sure they are tied up well, just as in this case, if you would every time make sure, you tied up your head phones correctly, chances are you would not find them entangled, however it's not what most of us do very often, not me, and no matter how & where you keep them, they some how always NEVER fail to entangle them selves up, such is the affinity for some of our problems and troubles in Life too, no matter how hard you try and make sure they don't get entangled and messed up for obvious reasons you never meant them to, they always manage to get wound and entangled.

Lets face it, we all have problems, we all make mistakes, knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly. Just as in the case of those headphones, you give it some time, sit back, breathe and sort the entangled turns one by one, its irritating, it takes time, it takes patience, but in the end you know, when you turn up the volume to your favorite song.... you are gonna be smiling...

I would say the same to myself, Ill give my problems some time, I would wait, in hope that some day, things would get sorted, get unwound, mistakes would get sorted, the misunderstandings would get understood, all I can listen to for now is my conscience, telling me, hey.... wait up, and just turn up the volume.

Tokyo Diaries - Nanji Desuka ?

So, what do you do, when your a freak like me, in a Big and really happening city like Tokyo ? probably not what am about to tell you now, yeah you'll know soon...

so on a cold night, I ventured out into this city's seemingly never ending streets, what more can a guy like me ask for ? A weather I love...time of the day I crave, my ipod loaded with my playground, and a wonderful city like Tokyo, yes... I was enjoying, bowing to every guy and girl who looked, smiled and bowed to me...it was fun , never bowed so many times before, and never smiled so much to strangers before, and what more can you ask for ?! they responded (unlike anywhere where Ive attempted before), just a warm smile can do wonders...

Soon, tired of walking for about 40 Min's, (not that I was noting time, I just let it fly), the only thing now that was hitting me was my head, and to think I had not eaten for a long time ! so food it was then, saw a MC Donald's yelling in my mind "Burgers and Fries", but I decided to ignore the demands of my Binge freak & decided to get into a restaurant called "Hoppy" I guess they probably meant to say "Happy" but then... who cares ! so I entered, a nice barbecue smell filled the place, was cozy with its ambiance, and of course filled with Japanese murmurs, most common word I could hear "Hai", in all possible forms of it's tempo speeds and repetitions.

SoonI was given a stool over the barbecue station & there I was, first waitress comes along and says "Konbanwa" and I said Konichiwa, to her surprise which was that I spoke a Japanese word she smiled and giggled, (I still think it was the way I pronounced it...yeah am learning) so a Jug of Draft asahi beer, Japanese Potato salad & a few sticks of barbecued chicken and chop sticks, I was about to have a grand meal, to my surprise the place was playing English Retro numbers, Billy Joel, Beatles you name it.

About 15 Mins passed and time flew, a warm hand touched over my shoulder, I turned, and saw this man, looked about 40 odd to me, and smiled and said Moshi Moshi, I reverted, he came ad sat next to me, with his Jug of beer, he had just arrived, the guy started talking in Japanese to me, and the waiter then came and told him that I wouldn't understand what he spoke, he probably ended up saying, "yes... I know that, now do you mind, let us have our conversation ?we will see about it...." in the meanwhile my mind was clicking, and I was hoping this isn't one of those sort of guys who would leave his bill on my name and vanish, but then I said to myself..."hey, this is Japan, might not be true, so lets take it easy", the guy understood I didn't know Japanese, just to make it clear I said "Nihongo wakaranai, gomennasai" meaning, am sorry but I don't know Japanese". He nodded in agreement & reverted "hai, hai hai" with a smile, next he asked me "America ?" and I said nai nai, India, to which he made an expression which clearly made the sign of a "?" and then I said "Taj Mahal", aaaah he said, "Thajjj Muhal, hai hai hai, Indhigo, hai hai" (why Taj Mahal you say ?, cause when I went to Taj Mahal, most of the foreign tourists there were Japanese) for a change it was me saying "hai hai hai" with the same tempo immediately and we both started laughing.

Next this guy ordered for me a Japanese styled soup, then with a easy to understand sign language gesture he asked me to taste it, I was reluctant, as I already had a bad sushi experience on board the flight I landed in Tokyo with, he suggested I just try once raising his index finger, so I did & to my surprise it was good, whatever it was, next he started talking of his Job, what he does, I understood he was a accountant with Mizuho, a famous Bank in Japan, we kept talking, errr I mean playing dumb charades, the guy was a little sad since his son had just gone back to China, and he expressed his sadness, amazing as it seems, none of this was verbal, but I understood it all & no I wasn't assuming things, I offered him a drink, to which he said no, he said he's an old man, and told me he was 62, I was shocked, this guy looked like he was just reaching 40, but its one thing Ive seen, guessing one's age here in Japan is definitely not worth a bet, the guy then got up, with a light heart, and I could see he was feeling better, smiled and asked "Nanji Desuka ?" which believe me was a sentence I had just learnt the same day, it meant "whats the time ?" to which I said 9 with my fingers, he then paid his bill & shook my hands, we exchanged long timed bows, and he soon left, but this experience is one which would probably never leave me, never have I had a conversation so handicapped in its medium, yet so sensible and simple to understand...

Ill end this one here by saying ..."Be Human, it's what you are naturally"

Aa-so so so Dozo Dozo

Frustrated, but wasnt sure whether to be with myself or with the Hotel guys, I was yet to be confident & sure of myself, that it was the hotel's fault, after having made elementary mistakes in the past I trusted my self a little lesser as compared to the hotel, I mean come on, they have so many people checking in and out of their Appartments every day ! a mistake on their part was the least you could imagine, confused and tired I dared to step out loaded with 3 heavy duty bags and stood out side the main enterance, just in case your wondering, nope there was no reception !

Looked left and Right saw no telephone booth, "screwed" first word that hits me, then from a distance I saw a middle aged man, jogging on the road, surprised yet concious to seize the opportunity I tried to stop him and ask for a phone booth's direction, the guy simply kept running, smiled at me as though he thought I was saying "Hello !", waved at me and continued to run, puzzled & not knowing what to do, I started walking, at a few steps I saw a Bar, for the first time since I entered Japan, I get to see a board with english on it, the board said "Wine Sakaba", I saw a guy on the inside look at me, I called him out for help, the guy says, "hai, dojo" meaning "Yes Please", I said I need Mobile or a phone booth, noticing I speak english he called for another guy, the guy turns up soon enough, "hello", I said I need to make a phone call, "where telephone ?", he said "booth very far, no close". "I stay in B-Site" I said, the guy exclaims in response, "aaah aaaa sososo, B-Sit-o ! hai !!".

I continued conversing, "No Key, door no open, You have mobile, cell ?", he happily offered me a cell phone, and I made the phone call, the guy was a little restless, after all, call rates in this country are no cheap deal, I pacified him and said "call free, no Yenna, Siro (zero) Yenna". He looked like he took a sigh of relief.

I called up the office of the Appartment, they said they would do something and check, as the details provided to me were correct, mean while I hung up, the guy introduced himself, "Huji ...Huji Yoshimura", I replied to him with mine, and said "Arigato", he smiled, and asked where from "Amarikka ?" , "No " I said India, Taj Mahal, which again made him exclaim "aaah aaa sososo, Taj Mahal !, (I now happpen to know that people in Japan recognise India by Taj Mahal and Sharukh Khan.)

Mean while Mr Huji San too tried his in-genius ways to retrive keys, but alas, no use, now I had prepared my self for a chilling one hour wait, then out of no where, a sliding door opens, a short guy pops out and says "Sumimasen, Mr Niketo, (they have a habit here of saying O after every word ending in "t"), I try opening, and he punches the same code, this time under the box with letter L, and opens the box, gasp ! I said, almost fainted, how on earth was I supposed to interpret "H" as "L" ???

Not making any more logic of the scene, I decided to thank Mr Huji San, and our new friend the care taker of that place, Mr Tomho San, and crash land at my room.

Enter room, hungry, tired and half dead...what lies ahead ? Watch this space...

Tokyo Diaries

Landed at the Narita Airport, Tokyo Std time said 18:05, walked all the way through immigration & customs, the first word I dared to utter, "Arigato !", not sure of how to pronounce it, somehow turned responsive and got smiles from the customs officers, well looks like it worked, Narita International airport, though out of the main Tokyo city has nothing less to make it look like a part of the main city bustle, took a limousine Bus ticket, the cute girl at the counter said, two fausand (thousand) yenna, and i was startled for a while, and reminded myself, divide by 10, sounds better, feels better, now PAY ! an hours journey and I was at T-CAT, a cab awaited, an old man got out from a sleek looking toyota, gozaimas konbangwa ! and started taking my luggage in to his cab, to my surprise the cab was huge, the ma opened the door for me, and moved his hand as to push me in with a big smile. 5 Mins and I arrived at B-Site NihombashiNingyocho, got out, was freezing cold, took out my accomodation invite and started reading through, said " go inside, and look on right side, find a locker, look for letter H, match code 5076 top to bottom, that moment i swear i felt like James Bond, or may be Tom cruise on a mission impossible with self destructing key boxes... next moment "Drat !" the damn thing wont open, and there goes my key, no reception, no one around, no phone booth, and most importantly "No English speaking people around !"...what next ??? stay tuned to know more ;)

Disturbed

At times I get frustrated with my self, for having given some one or something more importance than it really might deserve, the human heart is what tends to expect and mold a response into what it likes and expects, the expected outcome of which all the more seems luring to the heart, and black finally gives way to blue, with me it's been someone more often than something, and it's not really the first time, and the fact I don't learn from my mishaps and mistakes is what ultimately frustrates me, when I sit back and think is when it agitates me the most, looking back at all things I do out of my way, out of my mind, but all within my will, I think... was it really required to make that call ? was the last line really required ? was the attention really needed ? Is it all worth it ?

It at times unveils a fear, the fear of losing my identity, my integrity, of what I am, is this just me or does this happen with most if not all ?

Because after "u", comes "v"

If one is to trace back history (of what's documented) behind the day "14th of February", one would really find no evidence of Romanticism or Love between two intimate souls , however it's always good to have so much of love & goodness going around the world on the same day, I guess it in a way would negate any dreaded feelings around us and give our destiny a stop to breathe, if you are to believe in it of course...

I for once never really believed in celebrating such days, but come to think, when was the last time you told your loved ones, people you like, those close to you, those who care about you, "hey, you make a difference to my life, and thanks for being there !".

In today's fast paced life, you'd rather bother about being in time for that meeting & skip the breakfast, skip a "Hug", a "smile".

If you are one of those who do, here's your chance, tell them you are thankful, tell them you like them, tell them they make a difference, make them feel they are important...how long will you console your conscience with "They do know I love them, that I care, and that I realize..." they are humans after all, and communication is how we share.

To all those I know have made a difference in my life, the new , the old, the lost & gone. Here's my note:

"Thank you !"